How to Write a Theatre Review

Theatre reviews must be tricky little numbers and I don't envy those who try. But it probably helps if you're not a professional theatre critic, especially when it comes to musicals. One of the most interesting reviews of Love Never Dies comes from Guardian journalist Ian Jack. After ruminating honestly on Snooty-gate and his own attitude to musicals, he gets to the eveing itself:

"I took my 17-year-old daughter. Two tickets for the stalls cost £135; a programme, £3.50; three orange juices and a small white wine, £13.80."

It struck me that the cost of a night at the theatre is hardly ever reported. Why not? Ticket prices are, in part, an indicator of value and spending £10 or £100 to see the same show would most definitely colour your view of the evening's entertainment.

"The house was sold out, but the row immediately in front of us remained strangely empty until, two or three minutes after curtain-up and the action begun, half-a-dozen big people bumped down in their seats.

Why not tell us where you're sitting and who's sitting around you? Sometimes they're more interesting than what's on stage.

"As for the rest of the evening, there was nothing to dislike about it and a lot to be enjoyed..."

In my experience that's about as much as you can say from the first viewing of a new show.

"...some of the stage effects are transfixing; all the way back on the tube we puzzled over the extra who had real legs and the torso and head of a skeleton. Amazing! How had it been done?"

Special effects, spectacle, stage gimmickry - these are often the most memorable parts. They offer an immediate, visceral and determinedly theatrical experience. It's probably more honest to talk about them than to pretend you know what's wrong with the book structure in Act II.

"By the end, quite a few in the audience were in tears, or standing on their feet and cheering, or both."

Again I'd be pretty interested in the general audience reaction, not just the critic's (especially if it conflicts with the critic's). Overall this review struck me as being one of the most interesting I've read. Rather than running through a laudry list of opinions on author, director, performers, designers and so on, this gave me a pretty good account of the evening's experience.

Of course the best review of Love Never Dies came from an audience member, quoted in Metro, who expressed concerned about the number of times the Phantom gets unmasked:

"In this one, he whips it out all the time"

That's the kind of insight that every musical producer needs.